Wednesday, January 19, 2011
You'll Rest When You're Dead
However let me explain why it was my first visit. You see my company despises non-productivity. A company philosophy I as a bad employee do not embrace. So in the absence of any customers or reason an employees default setting should be switched to "busy work regardless of if there is any actual work to do. This also transfers into our break time. This is better aptly described as 'maintenance' time in the corporate world. This is the time where all the little robots go to fuel up (eat), oil up (stretch/get off sore feet), and empty waste (self explanatory). Marx describe it best in 'Das Kapital' where he described how capitalism is the only system where a owners machines fix and repair themselves without pay and without disadvantage to the proprietor. This is the difference between a salaried employee versus an hourly employee. Or to put it better a wife versus a prostitute. In the latter, non of the upkeep and only the wanted product. Hmmmm, I guess that makes me a very poorly dressed AND paid whore.
(although I've offset this through lies) paid and a 30 minute unpaid lunch every five hours...how generous. It's also always poorly time by management to suit "Is this good for the company?" (i.e. one hour into a nine hour shift. Yes, really).But naturally as a bad employee I ignore what I like to call "guidelines" and just take it when I feel like it because the only thing worse than me changing my break time is actually paying me not to take a break.
It's during this time I immediately vacate the store. I mean it's one thing to work there but to socialize in MY off-time? perish the thought. Plus my Hindi/Tamil/Gujarati isn't quite up to the fluent level. So I immediately head to my car and either go home for my lunch or hit the local depression analgesic fast-food shack for something to mask the personal disgust with...physical disgust.
So I was taken back when I actually visited the lunchroom. Apparently the concept of a lunchroom got mistranslated from corporate policy to mean "feed station" in retail application. Furniture I swear they were just storing from the picnic table we can't sell during the winter, plastic chairs that reminded me of the preschools I'm not allowed 50 feet of (Damn you Megans Law!), and vending machines that were probably sponsored by the local dental office in order to "drum up business". Well.... either them or Goodlife Fitness. Going around the room some more, there was a TV obviously taken from the electronics display aisle that still had its accompanying box below the ledge it looked like it's just being stored on till we run out of floor stock. And finally three computers that aren't ever turned on, let alone any instruction on how to actually log into (I also know the store doesn't have Internet except for the Store Manager/office staff. So I guess they placed them there so we could practice writing our resumes for other jobs but not actually apply online.
Anyways, I certainly wasn't missing much and don't plan on returning anytime soon. It was an interesting visit I thought I could turn into an article and here it is. Voila!
p.s. Excuse any typos, it's late and I don't feel like proof reading this now and the stupid auto-save function is pissing me off.